Song: RISK! Theme by Wormburner and John Sondericker
Song: Jet Sounds by Nicola Conte
Live Story: I Will Follow by Mary Theresa Archbold
Song: Leave Me Alone by Trashcan Sinatras
Radio Story: Messy by Lady Bunny
Song: I Live The Life I Love Because I Love The Life I Live by Mr. Jerry Walker
Live Story: Where Are You Going? by Marcy Bryant
Song: Empty Heart by Grace Potter
Please do not be less goofy when you host the show Kevin, it’s one of my favorite parts!! It’s one of the things about you that I connect with.
Thank you so much for letting me tell Beth’s story. Kevin, Cyndi and Brad were so supportive and helpful. I have never done anything like this before and was so overwhelmed that I left as quick as I could when it was over! I also wanted to add that Beth turns 17 on Thursday and has never had another episode of depression. Miracle’s still happen!
Welcome home Beth.
Thanks for sharing Marcy. As a father to a two year old girl whom is literally my world, that hit me. I don’t know how the audience reacted, but that was a very physical feeling that came over me a few times in that story. I don’t know what to say but i think i would be only necessary to say: Happy Birthday!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am glad that your and your family have Beth back – and I hope that she is as well. As a father of 2 young kids, things like what happened to Beth (at school, church, etc) scare the living daylights out of me on a daily basis. I too try as best I can to reinforce that, no matter what happens, that we’re always there for them, they can always count on their family, and that before hearing, or accepting, whatever anyone else says about them, that they should love themselves.
One thing I was thinking is that it may be of interest and value for Beth to share her story, and how she was feeling and experiencing what she did, when, of even IF, she ever wants to.
Again, thank you for taking the time and care to share. It’s not a “love conquers all” story, but certainly “love will prop you up when you’re weary, and help you get up when you’re down”. Wish I could’ve made it to hear it live, but glad I got to hear it at all.
Just wanted to say that I really appreciated the intro, discussing blackface, you gave to Lady Bunny’s story! I’d never want your show to be a place where people feel censored or unable to tell their stories honestly, and I know that’s not what RISK is about anyways. But this kind of intro provides the historical/cultural context, accountability, and discussion that stories with delicate subject matter truly deserve!
Always a huge fan.
I also really appreciated how you introduced the subject of blackface, and I appreciated Lady Bunny’s explanation of what it meant to her. I love how RISK deals with difficult subject matter, but does not take it lightly.
Marcy, I am glad that your daughter has turned out fine. But you speak about it as though it makes her “better” than those with continuous mental illness. Just because it was an ovarian cyst that was causing her to act differently does not make her better than anyone with depression. Also, the way you talked about the other girls she was around at the mental ward was quite disappointing. I work at a mental health facility and sometimes it is the safest place for a large variety of people. But someone with depression is not “better” than someone with another form of mental illness. And try not to talk down on psychiatrists and therapists. They are doing the best they can with what information they know. Putting her on medication could have been the best solution for what she was going through, it is probably a lot less likely that she would have a cyst. Thanks, just try to be more open minded about mental illness.
Marcy, shared HER story, from HER, perspective. We don’t all need to run around as Political Correct members of the Borg. From Marcy’s perspective having a happy daughter as opposed to a suicidal daughter is fucking BETTER.
Surely if you are in that environment daily, you can have some empathy for the situation the family’s go through. Maybe you could be a bit more open minded and less of a judgmental hypocrite.
I agree with comment #7. I can hear how much Marcy cares about Beth, which is great, and I’m really glad she shared this story, and that it ends happily. But there were elements that really concerned me. There’s not only an implication that Beth is better than those “seriously mentally ill girls ages 5 to 18” who might kill their families when they get out of the hospital, but there’s an implication through the entire story, in how Beth’s parents grill her and interrogate her over and over, that Beth’s stated reason for being depressed (being bullied at school, being an outcast at church, etc) couldn’t possibly be the TRUTH — wasn’t the right truth, wasn’t her whole story, wasn’t the real reason, wasn’t adequate enough for her parents to believe as the source of her depression, mood changes and cutting. I just kept thinking, why don’t you people trust your daughter? If you love her so much and think she’s such a great kid, why isn’t the pain that she’s telling you about VALID ENOUGH in your eyes to warrant a suicide attempt? Why are you downgrading her AUTHENTIC EMOTIONS because they’re not attached to life experiences that YOU think are suicide-worthy?! (Side note: bullying and social rejection are HUGE sources of grief, anguish, self-loathing and self-harm amongst teens AND people of all ages, and are absolutely linked to suicide attempts. Maybe this turned out to not be at the root of Beth’s situation, but that doesn’t make this any less serious of a social issue.) Marcy’s actions would feel degrading and dehumanizing to me, if I were Beth…and in fact, that devaluing of my pain and isolation by my own parents would CONTRIBUTE to my depression. Anyway, I’m glad everything worked out okay, and I’m glad Beth’s family cared about her…I would really encourage everyone, though, to truly listen when someone you care about tells you why they’re hurting. Listen and believe that person’s experience; trust it; validate it; work from THEIR needs, not yours. Anything else is often not very helpful at all. Thanks.
(Addendum to above comment: I don’t mean “…why isn’t the pain she’s telling you about valid enough in your eyes to warrant a suicide attempt” as “YES, adolescents who are bullied SHOULD BE attempting suicide,” of course. I mean “Why isn’t this degree of pain she’s expressing, and the actions it’s linked to, something you could see as a reason Beth would think is valid for wanting to end her life?” Hopefully that came through contextually, but just in case, I wanted to clarify.)
To Been There, I am so sorry that you have indeed Been There. I can see your point of view, and maybe you can see that you might be projecting your own experience into this one.. You should know that I only had 15 minutes to tell a story that covers a very emotional year of time. From the hospital forward, bullying was the only answer that we had to go on. The strange behavior, however continued even when she was not in school or around any negative influences. We did validate those feelings at the time. I did ask her that first day because I was in denial and wanted to make sure that she wasn’t molested, or that we were not missing any other cues. We never grilled her over and over. It did not fit as an excuse *For Beth* , because prior to this other people’s opinions had little impact on Beth. She had never let not getting cast in a show get her down, for instance. She did not leave a suicide note or any of the other things depressed teens did. It did not add up, but that didn’t stop us from treating her as if it did. She had a wonderful therapist who she saw weekly that was just as confused as we were. We followed all of her therapists advice.
As to disparaging the mental hospital – This is Risk. Right or Wrong those were my true feelins at the time. It was horrifying for this admittedly over protective mom to leave her former Disney Princess baby who had never even kissed a boy in group therapy sessions with drug users and girls dealing with sexual issues. I know that mental illness is real and my heart goes out to those that suffer from it, but at that time and place, I could only care about what it might do to my daughter. I am sure that the psychiatrist was overworked and had too many cases, but I did not choose him or that situation.
I had Beth’s full permission and support in telling this story. She listened and approved of the recordings I made during the workshopping on it. This was true to her memory. We both want this story out there so that people know about these cysts. I think they are more common than people believe. Beth’s had probably been growing since birth. If they had looked for it in the hospital, the road to recovery would have been much easier.
Still trying to work out why the story of the mother telling the tale of her suicidal daughter getting better is the most controversial story of the episode…
Yes not having mental issues is BETTER than having them. Not having kidney stones is BETTER than having them. Having two legs is BETTER than not having them. That does not devalue (or that fact effect value in any way) that person as a human being.
Marcy made it sounded like her daughter was no longer alive? Did i hear that wrong, hoping she is alive and well.
First, on a lighter note, Kevin, I was listening to this podcast with my headphones in at work while I was doing some mundane data entry. It’s a nice way to occupy my mind. In response to the people telling you to talk more seriously, that “FUCK YOU” made me loudly snort and laugh hysterically by myself. It’s OK, the coworkers are used to it.
Marcy, your story touched me and amazed me. I’m a mom too, and of course I put myself in your position and I was devastated for you. Her too, of course, but my natural instinct is to sympathize with mothers. When she got better I was relieved and puzzled. I’ve never heard of a medical story like this before. I didn’t even know that was possible, but of course the body is complex and all the parts work together in ways we haven’t even begun to understand. Since I heard your story I’ve been telling everyone about what happened to your daughter. I’m glad she is well. Best wishes to her and your whole family. 🙂
Mary’s story continues an unfortunate trend I’ve noticed of late…just the outright, senseless contempt shown for men in so many stories. In this case, a woman out of nowhere leaps with her full weight on an unsuspecting man, *breaking his fucking ankle*, and then shames HIM, telling him to “harden up”, as the crowd laughs and claps as she mocks his cries of agony.
can you imagine just for one second how different this crowd’s reaction would have been if the gender’s were flipped in this story?
as for Marcy– uptight judgemental finger-pointing christian poster-mom of the year– I’ll give y’all one guess how that story would have turned out had they NOT tripped over a magical macguffin that cured their daughter overnight (unlike the other 99.9999% sufferers of depression and suicidal ideation)– there would actually BE no story, not about “power of love and prayer”, and sticking by your family no matter what, not about anything– instead she would still be the family dirty secret, warehoused with those other icky crazy girls at the nutfarm where she can’t embarrass them at Church.
I love how incredibly QUEER the RISK! podcast is! I really appreciate your devotion to recording and documenting queer narratives and life stories. They are part of a hidden history which has definitely existed for all time, but hasn’t been accessible to most of us until now. Thank you SO MUCH!!